(EDIT: Monday 2.06AM)

This is so epic I just had to post it HEHEHE love you so much wenxin my babe ^^

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Because there ARE good & decent guys out there in the world, you just gotta open your eyes bigger & look :-)

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K so this is a totally random post but I've really got stuffs on my mind & I wanna let them out. So it's gonna be a wordy post and yes you can click on the X right about now. 

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It's all about what 2 of my friends said during our 6/3 Reunion last Monday (Will do a post bout it ... soon) which really made me think. Shall not put their names here cos later they will shy HAHA but anyway, they basically said something like how even though there are cute & pretty girls at their school, they're not really distracted by them and that they have never really liked a girl so much that they wanna jio her out cos they wanna focus on their studies now and mind you it's not because they are ugly freaks who can't get girls k, they're all quite good-looking!! Somehow it really made me think cos all along, I kept thinking that it's a natural thing for guys to like girls, flirt with them, get together, play around y'know that kind of stuff?? But apparently they showed me that there are nice & good guys out there who believe in true love and actually take relationships seriously aww :') So proud of ma boys hehe! 

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So many stuffs have been happening to me recently and I've got so much mixed feelings bout it! On 1 hand I feel flattered and am loving all the attention these people are showering me with but on the other hand I'm just feeling a teeny weeny bit afraid. I really do not want to just end up wasting my time or get played by somebody ... Maybe it's cos it's been awhile but aiya I just feel kind of confused now hmmm. Somewhere, somehow, I became afraid to love. I even told myself that I'm just gonna play around until I'm older and feel settled. I'm the type of girl who likes adventures & risks, the type of girl who would be willing enough to try something even though she knows about all the risks involved ... But what if trying ends up in me getting hurt? I know my friends are giving me good advice and stuffs but sometimes I just can't help wondering what it would be like if I just hecked care bout everything and plunged into it with no looking back ... Hahaha I think I'm just spouting nonsense now lololol I guess I'll just wait and see how things go by ~

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On another note (this is a completely different thing from the above), I'm really feeling afraid now. After the PTM (Yeah I know my post is really lag) ... Let's just say it was a big wake-up call. I've absolutely got no idea what has happened for the past 6 months, everything just seems like it has gone by in a blur ... I guess my life has been too happz this year already man. Too many activies and events. Think it's cos of the new-found freedom my parents lavished on me since the end of EOYs last year, I've been enjoying my life so much so that when Senior High came, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't put my foot down and really study. Everyone's saying that I lack focus & I've got too many distractions. I KNOW THAT MYSELF Y'KNOW. But it's just so hard to do anything about it, I'm really starting to think I've got ADHD ... I'll be honest and admit that the PTM left me in tears. That was probably the first time I've cried in school since I broke my ankle in RSS when I was P3. I know everybody views me as this happy-go-lucky bimbo, and I guess I can't blame them ... I'm like really a totally different person now from my Primary School days man. In the past I used to have fun with my friends (I wasn't an anti-social nerd k, I was quite popz actually LOL) but somehow in the midst of all that I could still have the motivation and drive to study hard and my grades proved it. But ever since I stepped into DHS I can honestly say that there have been very rare times when I actually studied hard. I don't know what's happening to me, all I know is that I'm not that same girl anymore. I was never called dumb or bimbo or airhead in primary school, in fact I was one of the smarter kids around and I just feel so fucking sad that my DHS friends can't see that smart, hardworking sight of me. I guess it's my own fault that I rarely act that way in school nowadays so yeah I kind of deserve being called bimbo and stuffs. I know people just joke around but it really hurts a lot when people really actually think I'm honestly stupid and dumb :( But stillllll, I find it so painful and unfair and I really wanna prove them wrong and show them the alternate side of me but I really can't do that anymore :( I'm so afraid of retaining and becoming a loser ... I refuse to believe I'm truly stupid, I KNOW I can do it but somehow my actions show that I'm not willing. All I want to do now is to find back that studious drive I had in the past and promote this year ... seriously that's all I'm asking for. 

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K that's all for now, so sorry for the lack of interesting posts, but I said before right I'm not gonna care about the attractiveness of my posts anymore hahaha I'm gonna use it to pen my feelings down!! Somehow I feel so much better now lololol there'll probably be more of these in the future. Okay well at least until promos are over, then I'll resume with more proper posts heh. 

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May I just leave you with a few recent pix of people who I'm so thankful for & pix that make me smile aww ^^ (Made pix small so that my whole blog won't take so long to load -.- Click on them to view bigger pixels!)

The super cute Pandadog Gameparty that all my 11s are playing now :-)

Our sessions with PKL :-)

6/3 Reunion :-)

National Day :-)

 

5C11 :-)

Aspen Babes :-)

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These are what remind me why I should feel happy everyday cos I've got such awesome friends around me aww love you guys to bits and pieces y'all have no idea how much I love you people <3

XOXO

P.S Shit I'm so sorry my paragraphs are so incoherent -.-